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Dating. To some, the word may conjure up nightmarish images: awkward conversation over dinner, ambiguous relationship statuses and agonizing over text messages. To others, it may mean another opportunity to go with the flow, meet new people, and to learn more about what you’re looking for in a long term relationship. Whatever your take on dating is, both sides can agree upon one thing: dating in college is vastly different than high school relationships.
So where do University of West Georgia students meeting their prospective dates? While some would think that that meeting love interests occurs most often in the classroom, most students agree that the place to meet significant others would be out on the town, at a bar or a party.
However, Will Irvin, the author of “Missing Pieces: 21 Secrets of a Successful Relationship”, said that “only two percent of men find relationships at the barstool, with the number only going up to nine percent for women.”
So those looking for potential dating partners will most likely meeting new people via mutual friends, classes or organizations.
Now you’ve found the perfect person to take on a date. What will it take to increase your chances of a second date?
Many components come into play when determining whether a date will be hit or miss, including instinctive decisions.
“Women have 15 minutes to make a first impression on a man, while men have about an hour for women to decide if there’s going to be a second date,” Irvin said.
With those kinds of statistics, it’s no wonder that a first date generates some pressure. Today most female college students still agree that the initiating of a date, or even of the first text, relies solely on the guy.
UWG’s dominant date-type consists of dinner and a movie, the old standard.
Dayton Presslar, a junior at UWG, prefers dinner over a movie.
“Movies are impersonal,” said Presslar. “You don’t get a chance to talk and really get to know the person.”
But the majority of daters opt for the more casual dating experience of group outings. Sophomore Mandy Boland prefers group dates.
“It’s easier to go out as a group date at first to get over the first date awkwardness,” said Boland. “There’s always something to talk about.”
But the real questions arise after a successful date. When do you talk next? Who contacts whom? A whole world of complications arise. So, do guys really wait three days for a follow-up call as popular belief would have us think?
“For guys, there are no ‘dating rules,’” said Presslar. “Guys are simple. Rules for dating are more of a girl thing.”
Still, most girls insist that the post-date phone call is the male’s responsibility.
“If you don’t get a call by the third day, you just forget it and keep your mind off of it,” said Boland. “But then again, there’s always the text you might [receive] a day after that [reading] ‘Hey.’ It’s confusing.”
For the most part, discerning between relationship and fling is different from couple-to-couple. Cole Loggins and Katie Kelley, both UWG students, have been together for more than a year and found out that being apart helped them to put a label on their relationship.
“It took a break for us to realize that we wanted to be together,” said Loggins.
“We just had to allow each other to have time with other people,” said Kelley. “If you don’t, you’ll end up pushing that person away.”
Individuals in a relationship ultimately have to decide whether to make a relationship official.
“There’s not a set amount of time when you realize you want to be with someone, it just happens,” said Presslar.
Because college is so transitional, it takes an effort to make a relationship work. Stressors such as school, work, organizational demands and family and friends can affect those bonds. Sometimes, even something inconsequential can irritate a relationship – take Facebook, for instance.
According to a Canadian study featured in Time magazine, Facebook “creates a ‘feedback loop’ of jealous for some readers” in a relationship. A simple wall post from a stranger to your significant other’s wall may raise some unfounded suspicions.
“It’s so unimportant, but little things can make you jealous,” said Boland.
And with years of pictures at the click of a mouse, it’s easy to retrace someone’s relationship history, sometimes awakening feelings of resentment of inadequacy.
“Facebook is the worst thing for relationships sometimes, but everyone uses it,” said Loggins.
Mainly, students in college should remember that although dating is fun, they should remember to focus on themselves as well. Fifty years ago, women came to universities to meet a mate – today, they’re going to universities to find out who they’re supposed to be.
“It’s all about freedom,” said Kelley. “Not finding a husband.”
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